Fretting: More Than Just A Bad Habit

Do not fret…it only causes harm 

 (Psalm 37:8)

God’s Word instructs us not to fret, but we may find ourselves doing so anyway.  Often we are unaware that we are fretting because it comes to us as naturally as breathing.  Once we become aware of the problem and try to stop, we discover how difficult a habit it is to break.  Recognizing the nature of fretting and the damage it can cause, may help us keep on trying.

First, we need to acknowledge that fretting is a sin, for anytime we do something that God’s Word says we are not to do, it is sin.

The (result) wages of sin is death

 (Romans 6:23)

 While fretting is detrimental to our health and well-being, it generally does not bring about physical death. However, death comes in many forms.  The word death conveys a sense of loss or separation.  Fretting can cause the loss of peace of mind, a positive attitude, restful nights, productive days, healthy relationships with family, friends, co-workers, and even God.  In essence, fretting affects every aspect of life.

What causes us to fret?  While we can probably name any number of things about which we fret, fretting tends to follow the same pattern.  A closer look at it may go a long way toward weaning ourselves of this troublesome sin. 

Fretting takes us round and round in a cycle, with a beginning but no end.  The steps that lead us into it and keep us there might go something like this:

1.  We are faced with a negative situation.

2.  We search in our minds for a solution.

3.  We think of an action to take.

4.  We take the action, either literally or mentally.

5.  The action proves infeasible or unsuccessful.

6.  We feel helpless.

7.  We feel hopeless.

8.  We search for another solution, and the cycle begins all over.

                                             
What a vicious cycle!  Little wonder that one synonym for fret is agitation. Like an agitator in a washing machine, fretting takes us back and forth, back and forth without really getting us anyway except frustrated and exhausted.
 
There is hope, however, for even the most habitual fretter.  The answer is to replace the cycle with a new pattern:

1.  We are faced with a negative situation.
2.  We search for an answer by looking to God instead of within ourselves:

                                        Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your

 own understanding...do not be wise in your own eyes

Proverbs 3:5-7

3.  We find hope in His ability to remedy the situation:

For the Lord God will help me…and I know that I will not be ashamed

(Isaiah 50:7)

4.  We find help in God because…
      a. He has promised to help:

For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand,

 saying to you 'fear not, I will help you’ 

(Isaiah 41:13)

     b. He has promised strength:

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, 

for I am your God.

  I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, 

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand 

(Isaiah 41:10)

     c. Nothing is too difficult for Him:

Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh.  Is there anything too hard for Me? 

Ah, Lord God! Behold,You have made the heavens and the earth by

Your great power and outstretched arm.  There is nothing too hard for You

 (Jeremiah 32:17,27)

With these new actions fixed firmly in mind, a new pattern of thinking emerges, the vicious cycle is interrupted, and peace of mind is achieved.

                              Help me, Lord, to lift my eyes, and see Your smiling face;
                              to let Your peace and love flow in, my fretting to replace.
                              May I humbly, at Your feet, lay every stress and care,
                              then walk away with joyful heart, and leave my burdens there. 
                              Direct my thoughts to good things, Lord; virtues help me see
                              in order that my heart and mind from fretting might be free.
                              For fretting eats away my peace, destroying it day by day.
                              Lord, fill me with the kind of peace that does not pass away.

               No matter what the circumstance help me to trust in You,                          

believing that You’ll work things out, and to Your Word be true.